Empty Rooms

3 years isn’t all that long of a time to live in a house, but it is long enough to feel the roots that have grown.  That is all the time that we have had to live in the first house we have ever owned.  We have now moved all our stuff out to a rental house, so we can sell it off as we prep to be global workers overseas in Kenya.

I still remember quite well the feeling of visiting the empty rooms of the house before we moved in, imagining the possibilities of how we might fill those rooms with memories.  It was an exciting time, and around every corner came a new buzz of mystery and potential.

Now that we have moved out, I again walk from room to empty room.  But now I am struck with a conflicting swirl of emotions: sadness and deep longing for the feeling of “home-ness” that slowly leaks out of the house like the heat that escapes through the crack at the bottom of the door, loneliness when comparing the former noise and bustle that bounced off every wall of the house to its now empty silence, gratitude for the rich family memories that still reflect from every deep cleaned surface.  There is also a feeling of satisfaction, knowing that we used the place well during this season of our lives.

And, since it was only 3 years ago, the residual memory of that anticipatory buzz still feels tangible as if it is simply us again, looking at this house, imagining the life we could live in it. But that isn’t how this works, and it isn’t what we have been called to do.  It is time to pass on to another family the blessed task of filling this house up with noise and love. And my personal excitement and aspirations get to move on with my family, wherever we go, not in any one house. We have learned how to fill a room or two with noise and love and mischief and laughter and tears.  We will do it again, together.  

And my mind goes to thinking about how God views home. Yes, there is an inherent longing in the human heart for a place of belonging, rest, family, shelter, nurture, and love. Enjoying physical places like this is a good thing, but it is not an end to itself; it merely points to a source and place of true belonging. Psalm 91:1-2 says “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” Jesus says to his disciples “I am the true vine… Abide in me, and I in you…Abide in my love.” This is our true home.

Goofiness

Goofiness

A kitchen well-used

A kitchen well-used

Over 8 house concerts

Over 8 house concerts

Hosting our weekly church small group

Hosting our weekly church small group

Family visits

Family visits

Further meditations on the nature of home are brought to you by the wisdom of the Talking Heads.  This song has played many times through the process of moving: